22 Apr

went from thinking im too much

living two separate lives because I was trying to figure out a balance

TO accepting my too muchness and embracing it

I have a first grader. She's getting into spelling and learning the differences between words that sound the same but are spelled differently with different meanings. You're & your, their, there & there, two, too & to. My learning style is a mixed bag: auditory, visual and practical- but simultaneously. I doodle/take notes when I'm listening to things, and I want to watch and do at the same time. That one's complicated... 

But as we were going through the words and their meanings/corresponding spellings, I was getting really creative with using the words in a sentence. I try to be funny and make them stick for her. We're very silly and I try to get some laughs. 

I can't pinpoint the exact moment it hit me, but it was when we were going over too, two and to. With 3 versions of the word, I had to do a lot of reps and changing it up a bit to help her get it. 

As I was thinking of my next example, I came up with a few for myself...

  1. "Mommy used to (sometimes I still do) think I'm "too much".
  2. "Mommy was living two separate lives, pleasing the people I was around, as I tried to find balance".
  3. "Mommy went from feeling like that to  accepting and embracing who God made me, trusting His plan for me". 

For a very long time- as far back as I can remember, actually- I've heard "I'm too much". Not always in those words, but that was the message. That caused me to develop what I'll call a complex. I started to become whoever I needed to be

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