note-iced
I make lunch box cards for the kids, and atlas' teachers made one for me. it's great to be noticed, but don't do things just to be noticed. God sees you, and will make it known through others when you need to know it.
All 3 of my kids get packed lunches for school. So when back-to-school time hits, I try to grab a few packs of the pre-made lunch box notes from Aldi.
Before I knew it, we were halfway through the year, and my notes were almost out. I didn't like any I found online, so I cut up some paper and decorated them to be what I wanted them to be!
After a month or so, my son's teacher said they all loved the notes and that they were so sweet. I always kind of wondered if they were *actually reading them, turns out they made even more people smile!!
Then, one day, I had "one of those days". It was a Wednesday. I do an exceptional amount of running around that day, so it wasn't until almost 10 pm we got around to unpacking lunch boxes and back packs... folders and progress papers.
I noticed something out of the corner of my eye- paper in his lunchbox.
It was a "lunchbox note"- but for me! His teachers took the time to make a note for me... ME!?
I hadn't made notes for them... but they saw me, and wanted to pay forward some love and kindness. That note meant so much to me... I wept in the kitchen.
Of course it felt good to be noticed.... but that wasn't at all why I wrote those notes!! I wanted to make sure my kids don't go a single day they aren't with me without knowing how much I love and miss them.
Then, it got me thinking about someone else who always sees me.... notices all the small things...
God, of course.
Some times stand out a little more than others, but I can remember as far back as 4 or 5 years old, God comforting me in loneliness. I don't think my toddler brain comprehended that it was God at the time, but I can say with certainty it was Him.
Lately, I find myself acting like a 39 year old toddler:
- gets pouty when things I do go unnoticed
- gets annoyed when people don't appreciate the effort I put in.
- easily irritated if anyone decides to rest because if ANYONE in this house deserves rest, it's me!
Sound familiar? I hope not, but there may be a time you can remember acting like a toddler yourself. No judgement- but hopefully, with some transparency and a lot of love and grace, we can help each other snap out of toddler mode and back into adulthood.
back to the story!
Every time I wrote a lunch note, I didn't know I was being "noticed" liken that- but yet I was! So, since I'm not God and all-knowing, I started to apply that logic to my situation.
If I did the things I do, without the intent of being seen, how would that chance me?
If I didn't expect, or wait for appreciation, what would that do to my heart posture?
If I humbled myself, and if I ever got noticed/outward appreciation, how much more would it mean, rather than frequent, hollow "thanks"?
I needed to start humbly washing feet, rather than standing there with a pressure washer asking for thanks as I tear their feet up.
God sees me, and that has to be enough. I have a lot of work to do; unlearning this entitlement and self-righteousness. It's possible though! I have to trust that God can do even this, even in me. I want to change. I don't like that part of me... ew.
SO, here I go, again... trying to trust more. That's ok. With God's help, and the rest of His faithful flock- mountains can be moved.
What's your heart posture been? Especially mid spring-cleaning season?? Hopefully a lot better than mine! But if not, and we are a little more similar (for now) than we'd like to admit, what are you going to do about it?
Keep doing it? Say we want change, yet do it on our own? Want change, take it to God, and bring to light our struggles with someone we can trust?
I hope it's the latter; but I'll send you to the book of Jonah as homework. Jonah didn't volunteer to get right with God when he was caught fleeing... he just wanted to be chucked overboard.. (and I thought I was dramatic... jeez) But he FINALLY surrendered. That's what I have to do. While there's no whale here yet, there's a lot to glean from Jonah's journey of disobedience, frustrations, surrender and more. I hope you take the time to read it, and ask the Lord to speak to you and reveal Himself to you! click the image below to go read Jonah!
YOU are the 1 He left the 99 for. Whether you're noticed or not, do it for the Kingdom.